Food, control and uncertainty- part 1

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post. I have wanted to write one in a while, but I do find it tough to keep my social media presence up while showing up for my family and maintaining self care and wellness for myself. Even more so now that physical distancing has been happening, I spend more time using technology to touch base with friends and family which leaves me wanting to get off my tech when I’m done. I sometimes feel my anxiety kick in when I haven’t done something in a while. Almost like a mix of embarrassment and a fear of it not being good enough that leads me to put off getting this done, but it matters to me, so I plug on. Posts may not be out every day or even once a month, but they will happen. So without further ado, here’s my next post!

Whether we like it or not, our lives have significantly changed over the past month. No matter how you are handling the changes, uncertainty can manifest itself in some major ways in our lives. Often we don’t always realize the pervasive impacts that our lack of control in this uncertainty plays a role in our thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. One of the reasons I needed to write this post is something I’ve been seeing playing out in the lives of many in my life and society at large. It worries me that the reaction to the impacts will have on people’s wellness in the months to come. It is directly tied to my whole reason for this account- food and the relationship to our body.

In times where we feel out of control of an impact in our lives, food is an area that we feel that we can control. This often plays out in two major ways. Eating more in a way to comfort ourselves to bring control in uncertain times or eating very little food or in restrictive ways as a source of trying to exercise the little control we do have. I’m going to outline both of these scenarios and where I get worried and how to deal with this in kind, loving and gentle ways.

As I scroll through my news feed, I see a larger number of pictures of my friends cooking and baking. I LOVE this. Spending times creating in our kitchens is something I think is so important to building healthy relationships with food. Food is fun and can be so comforting during uncertain times. This is normal and natural! Why not allow ourselves to have food have a role to help comfort us during times when we have less tools at our disposal to comfort us safely. Notice my choice of words. I used the word “role” for a reason because food can easily become a crutch for us during these times. Again, not the worst crutch we can have, in fact a very socially acceptable one in many cases, but it can have huge negative impacts on our wellness and also with some big reactions that lead to even larger issues. Let me explain.

When we feel stressed, anxious, bored or frustrated with a lack of control and we turn to food to help us. This is ok and normal. If we don’t reflect though on the reasons and feelings, we might end up turning to it over and over again. This may lead to discomfort in our bodies and perhaps, weight gain. There are a plentitude of memes out there lately, joking about the covid 15 (not unlike the frosh 15 pounds that people gain in their first year of post secondary) are not enough evidence that people worry about this weight gain and the idea that this is disastrous in our lives. Therefore, this is where I get worried as a body positive, health at any size and anti diet health coach.

This message, that our bodies in a bigger size are gross, therefore then sets us up to react to any weight gain related to this comfort to need to get our body back ASAP when this is over and two mindsets that can be further damaging. The first: eating everything in sight because “I’ll lose the weight after” or the second: “making your body the enemy and therefore eating more or trying to control food through diets, then bingeing because you are feeling disgusted with yourself.” If you don’t think I have any clue what I’m talking about, I have lived with both of these mindsets. I understand the feelings. You are not a bad person for feeling this. There is no shame! And this, therein, lies where the solution is. Bringing gentleness and kindness to ourselves when we find ourselves engaged in comforting with food. Not overreacting with hate and shame if your body changes shape during this time. Finding ways to gently work on your wellness, now and later, through kind movements you enjoy and food that you love in mindful ways. Your body deserves love always. No size needs to be attained to feel that. Wellness can be achieved at all sizes. I am here to help if you need it.

This is starting to get long and the baby is going to wake up so I have decided to make this a two part blog post. I promise to have the second part up in the next few days. Huge hugs and love to you now and always. Regardless of how you feel you have been handling things, just as you are. Right now.

Xoxo Jen